So I've now hit the 20 week mark and am finally starting to feel like this pregnancy is a real thing that is really going to happen.
From the first day I found out, I was afraid that November might repeat itself and that I would lose my last chance to be a mother for the second time. Prince Daddy and I agreed that, no matter what happened, this would be our last attempt. Losing our baby once was so very hard; if it happened again we wouldn't risk going through the pain for a third time.
Plus, being pregnant and suffering narcolepsy is hard! The moment it was confirmed, I had to stop taking my Modafinil and Clomipramine. Like, dead stop. Cold turkey. And boy it was not a good time!!! Sweats, chills, hallucinations, you name them I suffered them and am determined never to do that again! When my GP said it would be like the withdrawal from cocaine, I thought she was exaggerating. If she was right, I've just found yet another reason not to play with recreational drugs.
Now I'm officially half way through my pregnancy and I'm hoping to find the second half a bit more bearable. Although I still can't take any of my meds - the lack of which I'm really feeling - I know I'm on the home stretch and I have a finite period of time left that I just need to get through.
Princess Mummy is looking proper pregnant now! I have a ginormous bump and can feel The Nugget moving inside. From flutters and bubbles, this week we have graduated to full kicks and wiggles which are unmistakeable and are helping me, finally, to truly feel like this is a real thing which is happening to me!
I thought the 12 week scan would be enough to help me accept this was real, but, although I could see the scan and knew the baby was there, I suppose some sense of self preservation stopped me getting attached. Now, however, I cant wait til our 20 week scan. Which is Tuesday. In 3 days time I get to meet our Nugget and find out if we're having a Nugget or a Nuggette.
Little Prince was adamant we weren't allowed to find the sex of the baby - until he realised that once we have a gender, we can go about picking a name. Now he can't wait to know if he's having a brother or a sister. He's already (using the tried and true method of asking me 10 minutes before the alarm went off) got me to agree that as soon as I have the scan, he can have the picture to take to school to show his class.
So, to sign off on a prediction: I have a feeling that this baby will be a girl. When asked what we want, Little Prince always answers "A Transformer". Prince Daddy and me say a boy would be easier so that he and Little Prince can share a bedroom. But this bump, for lack of a better word, feels female.
So when I blog again on Tuesday, I'll either be very smug or be typing here with egg on my face. Who knows?
Little Prince was adamant we weren't allowed to find the sex of the baby - until he realised that once we have a gender, we can go about picking a name. Now he can't wait to know if he's having a brother or a sister. He's already (using the tried and true method of asking me 10 minutes before the alarm went off) got me to agree that as soon as I have the scan, he can have the picture to take to school to show his class.
So, to sign off on a prediction: I have a feeling that this baby will be a girl. When asked what we want, Little Prince always answers "A Transformer". Prince Daddy and me say a boy would be easier so that he and Little Prince can share a bedroom. But this bump, for lack of a better word, feels female.
So when I blog again on Tuesday, I'll either be very smug or be typing here with egg on my face. Who knows?
