Merely Youthful High-Jinks

So. In April I announced that my "maternity leave" -from my hobby!- was over and I would begin to blog once again.

Well you know what they say about the road to Hell.

Little Prince's personal issues came to a bit of a head and he was ultimately diagnosed with ADHD. Which achieved very little beyond extending my personal last nerve.  It now takes Little Prince a little longer to get on it.

Little Thug is coming on in leaps and bounds and is in danger of surpassing all of us.  At 18 months old he has worked out that, in order to win an argument with either me or Prince Daddy, he simply has to ask "why?" to every response until one of our heads explodes.

In other news, I accidentally became the face of Narcolepsy in North Wales through what was literally a series of unfortunate events.  This has tailed off and will be over completely on 13th August when the last article I interviewed for will be released by Real People Magazine.  Thereby destroying my anonymity and proving that I am a "Real Person".

So I will leave you all with a little anecdote about how badly I tolerate medication. You know cocodamol? You buy it over the counter in small doses of 8mg codeine to 500mg of paracetamol.  Well I took a single one of these tablets with a single paracetamol. Literally the lowest dose you can self administer.  After a traumatic dental appointment, I needed something to counter the pain. 

Well! Next time I'll just shoot myself with the Humiliation Blaster instead of giving Prince Daddy the ammunition.

Within an hour of taking the tablet I apparently appeared a little drunk. I argue that. Waltzing Prince Daddy down the street of a major city is merely light hearted high-jinks. As is foxtrotting with a charming older gentleman although I do concede that agreeing to elope with him *may* have been a tad unusual.

After some light shopping, I declined to carry the proffered bags from an assistant in a very upmarket 99p store telling him that I couldn't possibly carry shopping bags because I was too busy with my day job of being pretty.

After this, Prince Daddy suggested a nice bus home. I insisted upon a window seat in order to "photosynthesise".  As I was photosynthesising, an older woman who clearly had not been party to my earlier shenanigans, sat next to me whilst I was basking and tried to start a conversation. Apparently I very politely told her I couldn't talk right now cos I was photosynthesising and turned back to the window.

I was also declaring myself to be awe-mazing. Cos I was too good to be just awesome or amazing.

Sadly, when I came down from this "trip" I felt neither awesome nor amazing.

Maybe I'll stick with just paracetamol from now on.

Hope you all have an "awemazing" week and I promise to TRY to blog again soon.

Breaking Radio Silence

I'm Baaaa-aack!

 

Finally life has settled down at the castle, and I'm taking the chance to reconnect with the outside world. 

 

The last year has been hard.  And I don't just mean "having a baby" hard. I mean - having a Lactose Intolerant baby and an older child being diagnosed with behavioural problems and a recurrence of Cataplexies and redefining our roles in a marriage - hard. 

 

So I could do the world's longest Blog post about my year - in which case we'd all be asleep - or take a leaf out of the "surviving having a child with ADHD" books and address things as they come up.  Guess which one I'm going for?

 

So for now I'll leave you with a snapshot of my week as told to The Coven. (A group of the closest, most supportive friends in the world)

 

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I'm so ashamed. We've got on bus on way home from The Big City and I put my hand into Little Thug's pram. There's 4 things in there that we haven't paid for!!! Oh the shame!  

And they're all from different shops. Prince Daddy's been giving him stuff to keep him quiet and they've ended up in the footmuff by his feet! I've never stolen in my life before! I said I'd call the shops and pay for em but Prince Daddy reckons not to bother.

 

I'm mortified!  Feel like bloody Fagin taking the stolen goods off the kids!

 

3 HOURS LATER....

 

So I phoned the £shop earlier to pay for Little Thug's stolen cap.  It wasn't a great success.

 

The man laughed at me. So I told him I wasn't gonna pay after all but he could reduce his stock by 1 Mickey Mouse cap!

Then he got nasty and went from laughing at me for phoning to pay £1 to saying he'd call the police and have me traced by my phone number.

So I told him I was glad I'd thought to withold my number and hung up. Then shat myself for the next 2 hours til common sense kicked in.

I didn't even bother with calling Pxxxx, Wxxxx or the other £ shop. So today we "stole" a Mickey Mouse cap, Mickey Mouse sunglasses, a toddlers drinking cup and a packet of origami paper!

24 HOURS LATER AFTER LOTS OF QUERIES ABOUT HOW I AM...

 

I'm ok now. With our grand shoplifting spree of......£3.75

 

I'm starting to see the funny side now.  Prince Daddy was cracking up when I was sitting in Wxxxx Café telling the bloke that I wasn't paying him his pound cos he was rude and anyway I'd just spent it on coffee.

 

**********

 

The whole experience was mortifying and not one to be repeated.  And ultimately cost more than the value of the goods we "stole" as I made a £10 donation to the NSPCC in Little Thug's name to appease my conscience.  But on the flip side, at least I've had a half interesting story to tell you all.